Everyone keeps asking me, “so, how is it with two kids?” or
“what’s it like to have a toddler and a newborn?” It’s such an impossible question to
answer. It’s like, “what’s it’s like living
on Earth?” or “how does it feel to breath oxygen?” You just DO it, you know, there is no other
way to get it done or to live once you’re there. There are simply good days and bad days,
great hours and miserable ones.
On bad days, before we’re even out the door, I’m soaked
through, sweating from the humidity and from “wearing” Lukas in a carrier,
pressed to my body while I beg Reese, for the 14th time, to PLEASE
get her shoes on. On bad days, I drop my
purse into a puddle as I attempt to maneuver my preschooler into the stroller,
balancing the weight, and hoping I’m still supporting Lukas’ nodding little head. Cussing at my luck and the purse’s
trajectory, I think, “whew, just the outside got wet! The diapers are dry!” Until, of course, I realize that the water
bottle inside the purse has opened and flooded it all out. I won’t repeat the awful words that Reese
said, mimicking me. This, just minutes
out the door, and only seconds after I’ve realized that I forgot the bug spray
(again) and am now covered in a fresh set of a dozen or more bites.
Sometimes, all this happens because I’m trying to give Pete
some time in the new apartment to get things done and put together, or to cook
dinner in peace, as well as taking Reese to a play and sing-along class, but
it’s becoming less and less worthwhile to me on a bad morning. Frustratingly, I snap at her for yet again
not following my directions, and then immediately regret it as (a) she’s really
done nothing much wrong and (b) she bursts into tears, already sensitive from
getting less attention as compared to her baby brother.
Other things happen that don’t really ruin your day, but do
make you think twice (just for a second) about your life’s choices. You wonder why does she NEED to ask “why?”
over and over (and over). You think, “he
is just awake right now just to spite me/us” or “the laundry pile will never
shrink.”
Of course, on good days, we go for walks to the playground,
Reese discovers ants and bumblebees, it turns into a lesson, and Lukas is
sleeping peacefully on my chest, breathing oh-so-innocently. I forget that there are still suitcases to
unpack and I’m not grumpy or hormonal (I have, or course, just had a
baby!). Pete makes a delicious dinner
and he’s managed to get the internet working again as well as fixing one of the
sinks in our apartment. The landlord has
not fixed the air conditioner—rather he has replaced it with a new one! Friends visit and coo over Lukas, we spend
days on end in pools having picnics with people from all over the world, or we
spend a night in and sing Mary Poppins songs together as Reese sees the movie
for the first time and Pete and I remember what a gem it is.
Luckily, as June progressed into July, and Lukas slept more,
we saw more good days than not and began adjusting to life as a family of
four. The move between apartments,
though, was not as smooth as we would have liked. I’ll be honest: June was ROUGH! We could not have shown you the best examples
of our parenting skills, as we seemed to forget them, amongst the fog of less
sleep and new surroundings. The move
itself was pretty terrible as the mover was throwing our things into the truck,
charged us twice what we expected, and the whole endeavor took place during
torrential rain showers. Don’t ask Pete
about it—he’s still upset.
I used to read and write quite often. But it’s been ages since I actually finished a novel (parenting books don’t
count) and this blog post has been in draft format for A MONTH, I kid you
not. Pete didn’t get on a his play bike
for far too many weeks at once and we still haven’t seen as much of Shanghai as
one would expect given that we’ve lived here for nearly a full year.
But, the beauty of it all is that we have these two healthy,
(relatively) happy, and beautiful children.
(Incidentally- the Chinese character for “good” or “perfect” is made up
of the characters/words of “girl” and “boy,” in that order. Several Chinese people have pointed this out
as a sign of our blessings.) Our
marriage may very well be stronger than it ever has been and we are living in
an apartment of our own choosing and it’s giving us a more authentic experience
here in China. CHINA. Where we live! That’s still a wild concept to me. So, while I’m laughing at myself, and the
phrase “be careful what you wish for” is ringing in my ears, I’m also reminded
that amongst these God-awful wars and plane crashes, I have nothing to complain
about! Even if, for the umpteenth time,
I am wiping poo off my shirt and doing the 7th load of laundry
today.
